There are hundreds of stories around the world of couples, happily married for decades who, in old age, die within hours or days of each other. Take for example the case of Judy and Will Webb from Michigan who, at the age of 77, started to experience almost identical severe health issues. The couple who had been married for 56 years eventually died in hospice care on the same day from their illnesses. There are also similar cases of non-romantic pairs such as Carrie Fisher and her mother Debbie Reynolds. On 27th December 2016, Carrie Fisher died following a cardiac arrest. The following day her mother Debbie Reynolds, who she had an intense but close relationship with, died of a brain haemorrhage. Following their deaths, Reynolds son Todd Fisher said, “she wanted to be with Carrie”.

In the 1990s, Japanese scientist Dr Hikaru Sato began to identify signs and symptoms similar to a heart attack in people, usually women, who had recently experienced acute emotional stress. The condition became known as taktsubo cardiomyopathy, stress cardiomyopathy or broken heart syndrome. Although this condition is reversible and rarely results in death, bereavement or grief can cause serious physiological changes, some of which may be fatal. During times of increased stress, such as the death of a loved one, the body mounts an acute stress response including a surge of adrenaline, increased heart rate and blood pressure and reduced immune function. This may last for 6 months or a number of years. What is it that can cause a couple or close loved ones to die within hours or days of each other? The answer may not be taktsubo cardiomyopathy but it may still lie in the heart.

When we say ‘cranio-sacral’, a literal definition would be referring to the head or the skull ‘cranio’ and the base of the spine or the sacrum ‘sacral’. Cranio-Sacral Therapy focuses on all the bits in between and around, including the limbs, the organs, the nervous system, etc. The sacrum lies at the base of the spine and is made up of five vertebrae that are fused by adulthood. It provides support to the spine and strength and stability to the pelvis and therefore helps to anchor us when we are seated, and is vital to our posture and the way in which we walk and explore the world around us.

Psychoneuroendocrinology may sound like something straight out of a sci-fi movie but it is the interdisciplinary approach to “psycho” – psychology, psychiatry; “neuro” – neurology, neurobiology; and “endocrinology” – the study of our hormones. In a nutshell, the way in which our thoughts and emotions can affect our nervous, endocrine, immune systems and overall physiology. It is the butterflies we feel in our stomach before taking an exam or the racing heart when we see someone we are attracted to.

Psychoneuroendocrinology is a fairly new discipline that fuses together a range of health sciences that had previously overlooked the significance of the emotions in the onset, deterioration or improvement of disease. Stressful triggers, or our inability to adequately process them can be indicated in cases of asthma, eczema, digestive disorders and cancer.

One of the interesting things about this branch of medicine is that it helps us to understand, not only the way our emotions affect our own bodies, but also how our emotions can affect or be affected by others. For example, the hormone oxytocin is produced during breastfeeding. This conditioned response, the oxytocin reflex or “letdown reflex” may be produced when a nursing mother hears her baby cry or thinks about her baby. If the nursing mother is emotionally overwhelmed or in pain, the reflex may stop.

As many of us have, I have been indoctrinated with the mindset that work has to be gruelling, monotonous and stressful, and anything that deviates from that is wrong.

Work patterns, habits and locations have changed significantly in recent years, but has our conscience followed suit?

Today's grumble

I am fortunate to have the perspective of a 'service provider' and all the joys and challenges it brings. Technology is excellent in helping to bring about more joyful moments but when human error comes into play, technology can be destructive for a business.

I have been guilty myself of not correctly updating contact information on all of my social media platforms or creating email diverts and missing the emails all together (the latter I was able to salvage thanks to a very understanding client). These things happen and it is difficult to estimate how much such mistakes may have cost in bookings, leads, collaborations, etc.

Today's grumble however originates from my perspective as a consumer. A few days ago, I booked a treatment online. I received the automated confirmation email and an automated reminder email a few days before the appointment.

The Caribbean Wellness Day on Saturday was incredible - spending the day giving treatments and meeting amazing people.

My phone had become an extension of my arm and the constant notification sounds, flashing lights and vibrations had become addictive. I feared my happiness, sadness, anger, compassion were being dictated by an algorithm. Real, heart-felt interactions were being replaced by miscommunications and misunderstandings.

It is written in many self-help books and spoken as a mantra in many weepy rom-com movies that, "you cannot truly love someone else, unless you learn to love yourself". But what does this look like? How long would you last in a relationship with yourself? Maybe the mantra should be rephrased, "you cannot truly love someone unless you have been in a relationship with yourself" 

My ego is too frail to admit that being in a relationship with myself would not be that healthy. We would spend far too much time losing each other as we get distracted by things in parks, stationary or hardware stores. Arguments would be conducted in a silent passive-aggressive tone and one of us has to be more serious than I am.  

The practice of detoxing has of late taken a bit of a knock. The idea of detoxing is often associated with the tree hugging hippies, high on magic mushrooms, dancing around a fire naked. But detoxing or cleansing in its various forms, has been practised for thousands of years (clothed and naked) for health, spiritual and religious purposes.

Growing up, my family would often travel to Barbados and we would visit our many, many distant relatives in the parish of St. Andrew. Driving through this lusciously green and still parish we would pass an unassuming stretch of land my mum would point out as the Conrad Hunte Cricket Pitch. Being young, and not particularly interested in cricket, I didn't think much of it.

It wasn’t until this year, watching the England cricket tour of the West Indies, that I started thinking about those trips and the great West Indian cricketers my dad would recall. I got hold of a copy of Sir Conrad Hunte’s autobiography Playing to Win published in 1971. It details his cricketing career as an opening batsman for the West Indies from 1958-1967. During this time he played 44 Test matches amassing 3245 runs at an average of 45.06 - placing him in the annals as one of the best opening batsman for the West Indies, if not of all time.

From the last century until today, cricket has been plagued with politics. The West Indies Cricket Team is no exception. In 1960 Hunte played in the first Windies team to be captained by a Black man, Frank Worrell. His appointment was championed by the historian and cricket commentator C L R James and echoed a rise in the Pan-African Movement that saw many Caribbean islands gaining independence from European nations.

Flicking through my old diaries has given me a renewed empathy for young people navigating their way through the tortuous teenage years.

I guess the first thing to consider is what do we mean by 'emotional' and to what level can we express them. Stomping to the corner of the office and sobbing uncontrollably - possibly not. Or the recent case of the man in Liverpool who drove a digger into a newly-built hotel reception, causing extensive damage and possible harm to others - no. But we are human and certain elements of our psyche do not switch off just because we are at work. In fact, the workplace may emphasise the emotions we desperately try to hide.

To the week that was.

Once I drove to the Peak District with the intention of visiting a very specific location within the 554.83 square mile national park. I entered the details into Google Maps and after a stress-free journey, I arrived at the Peaks but couldn’t find the spot I wanted to visit. After a few minutes cussing to my phone, I realised that I was in fact standing in the exact spot I wanted to visit. I literally couldn’t see the woods for the trees. The journey only improved as I found a free parking space a few minutes away from the visitor centre which was pay and display (I love free parking - another story for another time).

The festive season can be a stressful time of year for many people - with family obligations (despite how much we may love them), feelings of loneliness, financial worries, etc. 

Running through the park in the rain towards about 100 Park Run runners who looked at me as though I was lost or crazy. It made me recall a conversation I had earlier in the week with a small but ferocious young woman about the fact that not everyone will see the journey you have decided to take.

A cold car boot sale in Cambridge, an incredible event hosted by the beautiful and talented Candice Bryan of Noire Wellness and welcoming a beautiful soul back to London.